Amal Al-Sibai

Saudi Gazette

Just because a certain problem is not outwardly spoken about in public does not meant that it is not happening in society. Moreover, ignoring the problem will not make it go away.



Child sexual abuse is an ugly topic that pains one to talk of or even think of, but unfortunately it does exist, it does happen, and it must be addressed.



Not many have ventured on this thorny topic. It takes someone bold, confident, educated, someone who deeply cares about the welfare of society, a proactive person who is a leader and is positively influential in the community to bring it up.



On an episode of his daily Ramadan TV show, ‘Wa Mahyaya’, in its second season, which aims to change the lives of people for the better, to inspire, educate, and to enlighten, Dr. Walid Fitaihi said, “There are thousands of children in the Arab world who are victims of sexual harassment. Child sexual harassment is more widespread than most people expect. We cannot keep our heads buried in the sand and claim that everything is fine. Rather, we must face the facts and begin to treat the problem and prevent future recurrences.”



There is no fixed, universal definition of child sexual abuse, but the American Psychological Association described it as: when a dominant adult forces or coerces a child into any form of sexual activity. Sexual abuse does not necessarily involve pain or touching. If an adult engages in any sexual behavior (looking, showing, or touching) with a child to meet the adult’s interest or sexual needs, it is considered sexual abuse.



According to a report by the American Psychological Association, 1 out of every 4 girls and 1 out of every 6 boys in the US have been victims of sexual abuse before they reached their 18th birthday; 10% of these cases involved children under the age of 6 years.



Studies show that most children are abused by someone they know and trust. Parents should speak with their children and tell them that a child’s private body parts are absolutely off limits to any other person, no matter what that person may say or how close they are to him/her.



The report went on to state that an estimated 60% of perpetrators of sexual abuse in the US are known to the child but are not family members. Such perpetrators could be family friends, babysitters, childcare providers, drivers, or neighbors. About 30% of perpetrators of child sexual abuse are family members, such as fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins. Just 10% of perpetrators are strangers to the child.



This heinous crime which robs children of their innocence and will affect them for years to come is widespread not only in the West, but also in the Arab world.



Are there any statistics and studies on child sexual abuse in the Kingdom?



Research conducted by Dr. Wafaa Mahmoud, assistant professor at King Saud University, revealed that 23% of children in Saudi Arabia had been subjected to an incidence or more of sexual abuse. Among these cases, 62% of the children refused to disclose who the perpetrator was. The highest-risk age group of children in the Kingdom for this crime is children between the ages of 6 and 10 years.



Dr. Fitaihi on the important episode of ‘Wa Mahyaya’ in which he covers this topic pointed to the fact that many cases of child sexual abuse are under-reported and undocumented in our region of the world because of the silence and secrecy. Oftentimes children do not come forth with their problem and they suffer in silence because they are intimidated by the offender. The child fears of the repercussions if he tells his parents, he fears bringing shame or dishonor to the family, he fears that no one will believe him, and ironically the child also deals with feelings of self-blame, guilt, and humiliation.



“Even when the crime is detected, often the family chooses not to take legal action against the offender,” said Dr. Fitaihi.



Covering up, hiding the story, and compelling a child who has been a victim to bottle up her feelings may interfere with her normal healing and recovery process. Such a crime has a severe negative impact on the child’s psychological well-being and she is in need of social and emotional support and therapy, which she will not receive if she is forced to keep quiet.



To protect our precious children, parents need not be suspicious and obsessive about this issue, but they should be aware, alert, and attentive.



Dr. Fitaihi listed some warning signals for parents and/or teachers to look out for that may be a sign that something is amiss with a child and that the child may possibly be enduring something traumatic:



• A drastic and sudden change in the child’s personality, for example from a lively, cheery, talkative kid to a sullen, withdrawn, and quiet one.



• If the child withdraws from the family and wants to be left alone.



• Depression



• Losing confidence in himself/herself and also showing distrust of other people in general.



• Sleep disturbances and frequent nightmares



• Behavioral problems and the tendency to inflict harm on himself/herself



• Suicidal thoughts



All society members share the responsibility in protecting children from sexual abuse, and ignorance and naivety on our parts as adults is no excuse.



As parents we can help protect our children from falling prey to such crimes by:



• Create a healthy and nurturing environment at the home where children communicate well with parents. Children should feel comfortable and safe to confide in their parents and tell them what they may be going through.



• Awareness should be taught to children in the home and school; they should clearly understand that no one has the right to look at or touch their private parts.



• Instill in children the confidence to stand up for themselves and say ‘No’ when they are spoken to or touched in any unnatural or uncomfortable way.